1. Names:
If Lucy, Linda, Elizabeth and Rachel go out for lunch, they will call each other Lucy, Linda, Elizabeth and Rachel.
If Mark, Paul, Eric and James got out for lunch, they will call each other Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. Eating out:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Paul, Eric and James will each throw in $20 eventhough the bill only comes to $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When Lucy, Linda, Elizabeth and Rachel get the bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. Money:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. Bathrooms:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap and a towel he stole from the Marriott.
A woman has 337 items in her bathroom. A man wouldn't be able to identify most of these.
5. Arguments:
A woman has the last word in an argument.
Anything a man has to say after that is considered the beginning of a new argument.
6. Cats
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when the women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. Future:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. Success:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. Marriage:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, but she does.
10. Dressing up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. Natural:
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. Off-spring:
A woman knows all about her children: dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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